| Posted by Ken Ramsley , Nov 12,1999,20:53 | Post Reply | Forum |
In some ways, as Sue has pointed out, we are in a better position to come to terms. We see evidence of Jenny's life and her passing every day. But those who do not live in this house are reminded less often, and so, when the thought does surface among her friends and extended family, there is no similar familiarity or routine about it. And it can hit suddenly and very hard.
Yes, as hard as it has been for Sue and Chris and myself in these past ten months so far, the constant exposure has forced us through the grieving process to the point where it is not so often a shocking thought to have lost Jenny... at least not in every moment like it used to be.
Today on my morning walk I happened upon cars parked for a funeral at the Federated Church just down the street from here... including the same hearse that transported Jenny's body and the same limo that took some of us to her funeral.
Somehow I did not find this very shocking though. Perhaps seeing the Ashland ambulance 50 times has prepared me for such things... I don't know. Maybe I didn't want to think too much about it. Or maybe, closer to the truth, I could just for a moment see this for what it was... somebody else's funeral.
But I do still get my shocks some days... like yesterday for instance when I wore a coat not worn since the day Jenny died and found in a pocket two movie ticket stubs for "You've Got Mail" dated January 1, 1999 -- the last movie we ever took Jenny to see ...just two days before she died.
So yes, there are many mountains of shocking memories waiting to be rediscovered like that. Yet, in time, perhaps they will not all be so shocking or painful or sorrowful to behold... for us all.