Homily: Jenny Ramsley - January 10, 1999

Seldom do any of us come face to face with the kind of tragedy that took place last Sunday. Seldom do we feel the anguish and sorrow that we have all been going through since the accident happened that took Jenny's life and injured Sue. It has been terrible. We have been stunned, heartsick...and yes frightened. We are frightened at how close to our own family this seems...too close. It has jarred our sense of order and our need for predictability in life.

And so we come here to mourn with others who are feeling the same way. We need to be close and to grieve in the place where we are certain God is present. But we have also come here to see if there are any answers...even the semblance of an answer...as to why this awful thing had to happen. Why did such a bad thing happen to such good people?

Now comes the hard part for people like me, being an ordained person that is supposed to have an explanation. Because I have to say that there are no answers...not in the way we all think of answers. There is no explanation to this. Accidents happen in this world. People and cars and ice all come together in a way that was not meant to be...and there is tragedy.

I am not saying that we should not ask why. We have every right to want to know why. We have every right to be frustrated ...even outraged. Tragedies like this don't make any sense. But the answer doesn't lie in something we can work out if we just give it enough thought or in finding the right person who knows how to explain it all away. And I don't believe the answer lies in saying that God took Jenny.

God does not cause these terrible things. God does not take little children away from a life that was really just beginning. Rather, God is there, as He was with Jenny on that icy street...God wept over her at that awful accident. And God weeps with us today...even as he also allows us to cry out in anger against him.

Jenny should not have died. She had a good life in front of her...parents who would help her become everything God had intended her to be. Friends and family who loved her. She should have gone on growing up in the image of her mother. That's how I saw her...growing to be like Sue, a person of faith who lived her life to serve others. The very reason that they were in the path of an out-of-control vehicle was because they were serving God...helping someone in trouble. On Friday, Sue said, "Jenny was there because she loved God".

Then, must we be resigned to the fact that this is a random world and that all tragedies like this are truly senseless...without any kind of meaning? I say, No! Even though there is no explanation for why this happened, there are answers. However, they are answers no one can give us. They are answers we must live into. And they begin with the things such as have been happening all this past week. Things that I've experience and I'm sure you have.

For example, I have never known so many people who have been deeply and genuinely concerned for a family...who have offered their help...who have responded to requests, who have pitched in to prepare for this service, who have expressed their sympathy in comforting and helpful ways...than what I've seen this week. Through the heartbreak...through the shock and frustration...in spite of our fears...whether we know it or not...we have been changed...each one of us.

Let me ask this. Which one of us, this past week, hasn't reflected on the fragileness of life...on the possibility of unseen events turning our secure lives upside down? Which one of us hasn't said, "This could have been me!" Which one of us this past week hasn't looked at our loved ones and been able to see them in a different, sweeter light?

In death, Jenny has given each of us a precious gift...the ability to see our world and the people close to us more clearly...more as God would have us see them. In death, she has helped us to recognize that life is much more than our narrow focus can grasp. It is so much larger. It offers us so many more ways of loving and giving and feeling and being. Further, and perhaps painfully, we realize that it is not something that remains constant and secure but something that does not stay the same...but is always changing and moving and expanding...beginning and ending.

I would like to suggest one more gift that we've been given in the midst of this terrible time. And that is the possibility of finding the explanation we so desperately want...the answers we are seeking. Though we have heard these things many times before, perhaps we can hear the words more clearly. The answers lie in strengthening our faith. The meaning of all that happens in our life comes into focus as we develop a deeper relationship with our Lord.

I would hope and I pray that we will take Jenny's gift to us and continue to build a stronger faith...one that will let us rest secure in the knowledge of God's presence in our lives. Answers to the things that are unexplainable are there for us to discover. They are there for us as we come closer to heaven. And we will know without a doubt that All will be well...and all will be well...and all will be well.

Jenny was a bright little star who lightened the lives of her family and those who knew her. Her light will be reflected here at St. Paul's in the memories we have of her giving herself to others...just as she was doing last Sunday on that icy road. Her light will shine in the hearts of her parents and in the hearts of all of us who loved her.

And, as we think of her, I hope we will remember that Jenny's life has not ended. Rather, it has changed. She still lives...walking with Our Lord...in communion with the saints of heaven...and wrapped in the eternal love of God.

Let us pray:

0 God, whose days are without end, and whose mercies cannot be numbered: Make us, we pray, deeply aware of the shortness and uncertainty of human life. And let your Holy Spirit lead us in holiness and righteousness all our days.

Grant to us, your servants, so to follow in faith where you have led the way, that we may be strengthened to overcome all adversity. And, when it is our time, grant that we may fall asleep peacefully in you and wake up in your likeness. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen.